h e a l i n g

"I’m so tired of simlpy seeing a mere flicker of light. I want out…NOW."

It’s not so easy to breathe yet. Just when you thought everything’s over, all of a sudden it just reemerges as if someone forcefully summoned it from the dead. It’s tiring, aggravating, frustrating, deliriously nauseating just thinking about it. Why don’t they give me a break? Oh forget it. They never will. They enjoy the sadistic pleasure way too much.

It’s hard concentrating on healing when every once in a while, someone gnashes at you and chews on your bones and drains the blood out of you like some sick maniac. It just is…And sometimes, just like a joke, you believe that you’ve finally reached this level of nirvana only to be awakened by your ever recurring issues in life. And this has certainly bled me dry already. It has already absorbed every ounce of energy ever left in this body of mine. It would be a great luxury to just give up and give in to eternal slumber… But I don’t want to give them that satisfaction either.

At this point of my existence, I have really come to the conclusion that people, no matter how perfect, how wonderful they will try to be to you, at one point  or another will be total assholes and treat you like shit. Not that they do these things on purpose. Some do, but some just don’t know, don’t even have an inkling that their imminent existence brings so much misery in someone else’s life.

And then there’s also this theory that life’s idea of a joke is having the same person for the one who causes you misery and bliss. Thus the cliche, "The only one who can make you okay is also the reason why your not okay." It’s inevitable, and it’s hillarious. It truly is…but no one laughs at it. 

Maybe I’ve lost the capability for full comprehension of life’s "simple complexities", but really, I’m very challenged to find the answers.

"I’m so tired of simlpy seeing a mere flicker of light. I want out…NOW."