what’s left of me…
I just deleted a whole paragraph that I just typed earlier. And now I’m typing again…great.
I am finally here in my own sweet surrender 
And I await the coming of the dawn
Take my life as it has already served its own purpose…
Bared my soul, loved though unloved, gave without doubt, lived to the last drop of blood.
What is left of me…is what I’m not.
Tomorrow promises a new day. Does it also promise a new me? A new life? A new heart? A brand new heart…without scar, without blemish, without pain…Oh how sweet it would be to wake up one morning and not feel any sting, any stab of pain in one’s chest. To be invincible. How I’d give up anything to be invincible.
To be transformed into someone who does not know pain, nor happiness…to not feel anything. To be like a rock. To exist without living. To not have purpose. Such a sad, sad thought. But sometimes, I do dream of this.
I do dream of this…
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i love this…
ka relate???hmmmm…
“Tomorrow promises a new day. Does it also promise a new me? A new life? A new heart? A brand new heart…without scar, without blemish, without pain…Oh how sweet it would be to wake up one morning and not feel any sting, any stab of pain in one’s chest. To be invincible…”
I felt this before. Walking around, very much alive but very much hollow. Yet I moved on and be more stronger than I thought I am capable of. Well, it worked–for the last 12 freaking months…and I was not quite happy.
And I belatedly thought that everything in life is all about choices and guts.
Strive to be happy!
hi maz…ngano karelate man ka??? heartbroken? aw unsa bah…hahahaha…thanks for the comment. mwuah!
hi nanoi!!! i’m surprised that nicomment ka sko blog..it’s a pleasant surprise though. thanks…so you also went through this? see that’s what i love about blogging, it makes you think that you are not alone in this world and that other people share the same experiences too…makes me feel much stronger. thanks nanoi. this means a lot. mwuahü
u sure u dont want to feel anything…
hey adi, so glad you dropped by. well, yeah, sometimes i just wanna be numb and not feel anything…sometimes.ü
well, sometimes could also means most of the time and i understand how u feel…ur alive but not really living…
but, emptiness is just but one feeling as to compare to the other feeling…life is filled with simple joy, a smile from a stranger, having a cup of cappucino when it’s cold, finding a penny on the street, listening to cuppy cake song when ur down, seeing that your loves one is happy or even stealing a quick nap at work is enjoyable…not trying to be smart or anything, just thought to share something… u might want to read my latest addition in my blog, it’s something i found in the web and thought of sharing it… it’s really good…
you have so much talent manz.. ur blogs amaze me and puts me into deep thinking..hehe i hope ur ok.. tke cre..=)
thanks laika dear…that means a lot. ü i AM ok. or ok, if not, then i AM GONNA BE ok. hehe…tc!
unsaon ni?
ingani ra ni mag type2 ra ta?beh kuno..testing ug mugawas ba ni..eng eng eeenngg….
ah ok..nigawas d.i jed…
so…manzky…you still don’t want to feel anything?..until now?
numbness is something we all want to feel sometimes..tis a great escape isn’t it?
however, in case you do feel numb..how long would you want to stay that way?
i’ve been numb..numbed..sometimes by choice..sometimes not..
then i met someone..found someone…and then i was alive again..reborn..& i owe it all to that one amazing person..whose in my heart right now..and will remain there..hanggang..
dats ol folks..
have a nice day…
smile…
hey there cheatedon! i’m happy for you. hahaha. ü
“so…manzky…you still don’t want to feel anything?..until now?”
–well,the desire ain’t that strong anymore. i’m beginning to let down my defenses, it’s just that probably, i don’t want to get hurt again…coz i know how it feels and it sucked big time and i’d rather not feel it again…but ofcourse that’s impossible…just sharing a thought. thanks for the comment! its highly appreciated. ü